Friday, November 12, 2010

Male aggression

I have several interests. One interest is being manly and finding outlets to display that manliness, for I am convinced women find such behavior irresistible. My girlfriend, being a woman, does not know the truth of the male brain, all the subtleties, the underlying forces that surreptitiously draw her to me. She may openly scoff, but my manly ways have her enthralled.

Though she denies the appeal, my latest foray into manly endeavors is truly epic: I will participate in an MMA style fight with my long-time friend from grade school. On video. The fight will be fun, manly, a test of fortitude and testosterone-fueled chest thumping. The great challenge is illustrated as follows in an email exchange with my girlfriend:

will this turn into a fight club scenario?no. both billy and i are too lazy for that amount of organizationhow beat up will you get?i will do the beating. so not veryWhy do you want to do this?as a way to discover the limits of my own human spirit and to improve upon my moral characterwhat is the extent of your practical knowledge of mma?practical knowledge is practically nothing. i do possess intangibles.where will this extravaganza occur?undecidedwhy do you want to do this again?maybe because i'm a guy (and i am super manly)will you come out of it with all your teeth?teeth are overrated. i'm part british

So there. It is settled. The fight is on and my manliness with rule the day. Unless my girlfriend tells me otherwise.

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