Thursday, August 25, 2011

Excerpt of First Draft

This feels better than it actually reads, if that makes any sense. I can sense the story but it isn't quite there yet. It is there, I just need to do some more digging. So, here is Pablo and Alicia:

I saw Pablo first.
I find that strange now, seeing only Pablo for those many weeks, always alone and sad and running. He was so ordinary in comparison, and yet, I can see, so far removed in time, him; his every position of form just by closing my eyes.
Maybe because his life was so entwined with my own, so much a part of who I became, his vivid clarity should not be so odd and perhaps would not be such if it were not for her. Ordinary in Pablo meant in comparison to her, he was a firefly in a burning desert, for nothing burned as bright or hot as did Alicia and so he chased after her with knowing futility that he ran at a mirage.

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