Saturday, November 5, 2011

I Occupy My Own Mansion


Paris, as it is...
House Hunters International on HGTV embarrasses me at times. Hunting for an apartment in Paris, France and folks can’t imagine how small the apartments or how much they cost.

And the bathrooms!

And the kitchens!

Imagine, countries outside of America have different showers, different architectural features, different priorities in how homes are set-up. Paris, the city there in France? Yeah, the really  old city, with the old buildings? Yeah, that one. It doesn’t have the amenities of 2011 construction!

And that surprises these two jokers! AHHHHH!

I need to step away, I think. I used to get worked up about a big hit on Sunday, that last minute breakdown in defense that allowed the game winning touchdown. Now? HGTV gets me all rankled and disturbed. They chose that color for the drapes? Why the hell do they have drapes, anyway? And that rug, it’s all wrong for the size of the room and the style they were going for. What were they thinking?

Good. Now we’re watching TLC and it’s- damn me! Say Yes to the Dress.  I need to watch something with explosions, real quick, something I can watch and grunt at and thump on my chest in a way that says, “I’m a man! That thumping barely hurts at all.”

I need a whiskey, a cigar, a quiet corner in which to rock and contemplate, and I need it quick.
...how Americans View Paris

After I see which dress that girl picks. Not the mermaid, because it’s all wrong for her shape and personality...

3 comments:

Julia Rachel Barrett said...

Actually the bathrooms in Paris are bigger than in Rome. I rented an apartment in Rome and the shower was so small if you dropped something like the soap or your razor, well, ce la vie. I don't think anyone who weighed more than 130 lbs and was taller than 5'9" could have fit. Interesting challenge. The bathrooms in Paris were enormous in comparison.
Now...what about all those fixer-uppers in New England? Or has Stephen King gotten to them first?
Oh, when I need a chest-thumper, I watch Die Hard or Predator - the original chest-thumpers!
Yes to the Dress! LMAO! My daughters are addicted.

Jeanettethewriter said...

I'm an HGTV watcher too and am always amazed at the "amenities" in the international homes. Let's face it, we're spoiled here. We had an apartment in London for a short period, and although the building was old, the bathroom was large and had heated towel racks, which was great because it was usually cold and rainy outside. We also had an apartment in Paris for a while, the whole size of which was about the size of my living room here in California. When I'm out of my element I follow the motto "when in Rome...." Othewise, stay home.

MT Nickerson said...

I've never lived anywhere except in Maine, so I can't comment on international cities- it just seems ridiculous to expect the same amenities internationally as are found in the states. Heck, even in the states, there are huge differences in size and prices. In Maine, two acre lots are small and million dollar homes rare.

Stephen King- he bought a house in Florida and spends more than half the year there. Better taxes in Florida than in Maine...

When in Rome...Otherwise stay home I like that. :)