Friday, January 27, 2012

Self-Imposed Failure Sytsem No Good For Writers

Self-imposed ______ (please, feel free to fill in the blank as you see fit).

Over my years, I have filled in the blank with so much, a stream of self-imposed obstacles/ limits/ excuses/ doubts/ failures- self-imposed bullshit, really; so much negative flotsam. How about you Folks? Have you created your own impediments, your own stumbling blocks that prevent achievement of that thing you want most in life? Or are you one of the lucky few who can look at that blank space and say, honestly say, ‘nope, not me- doesn’t apply’?

Have you kept the negative out, allowed only the positive?

In the past month I have had far too many self-imposed limits. I’ve allowed myself to engage in pity, doubt, a false belief that what I’m doing has no meaning. Each day, I fill in the blank and each day, I feel worse.

I tell myself that I’m busy with other things, making plans, organizing, planning, preparing. Lies, Folks. I haven’t posted on my blog because I allowed myself the freedom to doubt what I do as having value. I see a frustratingly low number of members to the blog, low visitor counts, a lack of engagement with the content and believe those external numbers are the sum of importance.

I dismiss the fact that writing comes from an internal place, I dismiss the value writing has for me as an individual and for that reason, allowing myself to fill in that blank each day is ultimately self-imposed destruction.

Do what you love. Don’t fill that particular blank space with a negative, Folks.

So, I can plan and organize, and I can do all the things that have occupied me the past month, but at the same time, I have to quit feeling so goddamn morose, buck up, and get back to posting.

This is my virtual slap to the face, my self-imposed directive.

I am pleased to finally participate in the year 2012. Day one...