Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Not Waiting, Just Living

Holding patterns. Over the past year and a half I have spent a fair amount of time (at least in comparison to my own past history) waiting in airports for the next plane to arrive so I can continue my journey to some wonderful destination. Even though I sat in too many terminals for far too many hours and was stuffed into too many tightly packed airplanes, there was always an end, the destination was achieved. New Zealand, Italy, Greece, Turkey, San Francisco, back home here in Maine, wherever, but the payoff was achieved eventually.

Just Fly, Folks
In life, outside the noise and chaos of airports, waiting hardly ever pays off. Holding patterns are never pleasant but at least when travelling, holding patterns have a linear quality of beginning, middle and end. This is not so with other situations we tend to create in life.

I keep waiting for my graduate school application to come back to me with a yes- or a no- and endure a holding pattern that has no discernible end. I stepped back from other commitments in order to finish a semester this past fall so that I could secure solid recommendations from professors who (so I hoped) would be impressed with me as a student and as a person. I waited that semester out with a chronic unease so much a part of my character, then after getting the recommendations, moved to the next phase of self-doubt as my application moved into the mysterious pipeline of approval at the graduate school.

I waited, I wait, I hold my breath, I obsess, I put my life on hold. It is needless but too common a practice and time stretches.

A worthy destination is Now and Here. Life isn’t a terminal or exoctic locale, a vacation spot a person goes to or arrives at and certainly isn’t productive when a person waits for it to happen.

Don’t wait, Folks. Go out and do, live, and hopefully have a good person at your side, in whatever size, shape or gender that makes you happy. Don’t wait for life to do for you, to be anointed by an outside force to approve who you are, what you want to do or how you live your life.

Happiness should be in living, not waiting.

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