Thursday, March 28, 2013

Crawl Space Brewery


The kitchen counter is not an appropriate, wife-approved, spot to start my nano-brewery. And though I’m not sure my wife has discovered them, I would guess non-approval extends to the spare bedroom where currently thirty or forty bottles are gently resting in their four week bottle-conditioning phase, as they await drinking. There was a definite firm no when the subject of banana wine was brought up, especially when I explained the two year process it took for that particular concoction took to reach the height of drinking perfection.

(To my brother-in-law: banana wine is not a prison wine, but rather a drink for the more adventurous home brewer- and would probably be delicious if I were only allowed to make some.)

Oh the wine these could make...
Space in my house is rather limited and with both the kitchen and spare bedroom off-limits (along with, I would assume, my wife’s office and our bedroom) I felt the need to expand my options in a creative way. Hence the brilliant thought that the crawl space under the house would be an acceptable alternative.

Now, I’m not weird and you have to understand that by crawl space I don’t literally mean one has to shimmy around on hands and knees amongst the spiders and muck (like here). There’s actually a solid three and half to four feet of space under the house, but the ledge prevents a full, honest to god basement.

I’m thinking, Why not?

My wife is thinking (and saying out loud with eyes and mouth), “That is one of your worst and most ridiculous ideas ever. Don’t tell anyone else or the men with the butterfly nets will come after you.”

I still think, This is feasible. Besides, my other brother-in-law completely endorses the concept of Crawl Space Brewery as a kick-ass name for a nano-brewery.

My wife says our brother-in-law’s opinion doesn’t actually count as a full opinion as he’s equally as idiotic as myself. In other words, putting both our opinions together doesn’t measure up to a single, intelligent person’s opinion and therefore is quite meaningless.

I’m still on the fence, because, you know, there’s lots of beer to be brewed and come on, isn’t banana wine worth the effort?

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Not Waiting, Just Living


Holding patterns. Over the past year and a half I have spent a fair amount of time (at least in comparison to my own past history) waiting in airports for the next plane to arrive so I can continue my journey to some wonderful destination. Even though I sat in too many terminals for far too many hours and was stuffed into too many tightly packed airplanes, there was always an end, the destination was achieved. New Zealand, Italy, Greece, Turkey, San Francisco, back home here in Maine, wherever, but the payoff was achieved eventually.

Just Fly, Folks
In life, outside the noise and chaos of airports, waiting hardly ever pays off. Holding patterns are never pleasant but at least when travelling, holding patterns have a linear quality of beginning, middle and end. This is not so with other situations we tend to create in life.

I keep waiting for my graduate school application to come back to me with a yes- or a no- and endure a holding pattern that has no discernible end. I stepped back from other commitments in order to finish a semester this past fall so that I could secure solid recommendations from professors who (so I hoped) would be impressed with me as a student and as a person. I waited that semester out with a chronic unease so much a part of my character, then after getting the recommendations, moved to the next phase of self-doubt as my application moved into the mysterious pipeline of approval at the graduate school.

I waited, I wait, I hold my breath, I obsess, I put my life on hold. It is needless but too common a practice and time stretches.

A worthy destination is Now and Here. Life isn’t a terminal or exoctic locale, a vacation spot a person goes to or arrives at and certainly isn’t productive when a person waits for it to happen.

Don’t wait, Folks. Go out and do, live, and hopefully have a good person at your side, in whatever size, shape or gender that makes you happy. Don’t wait for life to do for you, to be anointed by an outside force to approve who you are, what you want to do or how you live your life.

Happiness should be in living, not waiting.